I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
