Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
