i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
