how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
