is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
