i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I smell stomach acid.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
