maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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