Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
