My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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