You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
