Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
