Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize