kristin has been a bad kristin
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Your penis caused this!
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