The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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