I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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