Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
