It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
