There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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