I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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