There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize