i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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