when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
