There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
