Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
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