My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
