Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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