That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
