recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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