Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
