through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
