Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
high people should be assigned attendants
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
