i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
