I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
