You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
