he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
