dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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