turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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