i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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