brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
