We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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