not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize