is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
