Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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