We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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