I feel like I'm in dance class right now
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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