she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
