Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
