he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
