I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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