woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
