I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
