So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
NoShamevember. You game?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
