We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
