I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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