Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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