so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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