you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
