I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
