Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
