That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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