Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
