He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
