You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
