Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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