I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
