hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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