why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
