We're facebook friends in real life
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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