my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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