I like my sex mixed with concussions.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
