I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize